University Trainer Frustrated with Disappearing Colleagues
A compliance officer at a university is stuck between two unacceptable options: let her trainees continue to wander off during breaks, potentially derailing the entire session, or start the training without them, risking a loss of certification for those who abscond. The problem has become so common that she can't even gauge what's behind their departures – are they seeking coffee, comfort, or something more profound?
The officer struggles to find a balance between being considerate and maintaining the integrity of her work. She tries explaining the importance of attendance at the beginning of each meeting but hasn't seen much change. "Stop being such a pushover" advises Dear Abby, suggesting that the trainer needs to set clearer boundaries and prioritize those who are committed to attending.
A different question comes from "Untouched in Costa Rica," a senior woman dealing with intimacy issues in her marriage. The 55-year-old has been with her husband for five years but hasn't experienced physical affection since then. Her husband attributes his lack of interest to low self-esteem, which has left the couple feeling stuck. Before making any major decisions, Dear Abby advises "Untouched" to discuss her concerns with a doctor and explore therapy options.
In both cases, it seems that finding solutions requires patience, understanding, and sometimes tough love – all from the trusted advice column of Dear Abby.
A compliance officer at a university is stuck between two unacceptable options: let her trainees continue to wander off during breaks, potentially derailing the entire session, or start the training without them, risking a loss of certification for those who abscond. The problem has become so common that she can't even gauge what's behind their departures – are they seeking coffee, comfort, or something more profound?
The officer struggles to find a balance between being considerate and maintaining the integrity of her work. She tries explaining the importance of attendance at the beginning of each meeting but hasn't seen much change. "Stop being such a pushover" advises Dear Abby, suggesting that the trainer needs to set clearer boundaries and prioritize those who are committed to attending.
A different question comes from "Untouched in Costa Rica," a senior woman dealing with intimacy issues in her marriage. The 55-year-old has been with her husband for five years but hasn't experienced physical affection since then. Her husband attributes his lack of interest to low self-esteem, which has left the couple feeling stuck. Before making any major decisions, Dear Abby advises "Untouched" to discuss her concerns with a doctor and explore therapy options.
In both cases, it seems that finding solutions requires patience, understanding, and sometimes tough love – all from the trusted advice column of Dear Abby.
she's stuck between being nice to her trainees or risking their certs... like what do you even do in situations like that? 
I've been there where I'm worried about missing out on important stuff but also don't wanna be seen as a bother to my friends during breaks... i think it's all about setting clear expectations and boundaries, but at the same time being understanding 
but i get why dear abby says be firm tho... sometimes u have to draw a line bc lets face it, some ppl can get away w/ things bc they're all good w/ it... meanwhile, "untouched" sounds like she deserves way more than just low self-esteem 
maybe dear abby should give her a hug too 
They're stuck in this cycle where they don't know how to handle absent trainees without getting on people's nerves 
I think it's kinda harsh when they tell them to just set clearer boundaries, though - can't those trainees just have a heart-to-heart with their colleagues and figure out what's up? 
It takes courage to address these deeper issues, and therapy can be super helpful. But yeah, finding the perfect balance is key - no one wants a lecture when they're just trying to grab a coffee break 
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or enjoying some solo time 
. The trainer's all about being considerate, but at what point do you need to draw a line? Like, if people can't be bothered to show up, how can they expect the rest of us to deliver on our promises?
. It's not always easy to know where to start or how to approach the conversation. Maybe instead of "tough love," we need some tough truths, like: you're not alone in this feeling 
? Like, what's the big deal if they need a break? It's not like it's going to end the world or something 
. But at the same time, I get why the trainer is stressed - she's gotta make sure everyone gets their certification or whatever. Maybe just put up some comfy chairs and a coffee station 
. But at the same time, 55 is a bit old to be dealing with these issues, you know? Maybe it's time for her to have an honest convo with her husband about what she wants and needs 
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she's stuck in a no-win zone... like, what's the alternative to being a total buzzkill but also risking those trainees' certifications? And can you blame them for taking a break, though? Coffee breaks are a real thing and some people need 'em 
... remember when people used to just take a break and go get coffee or something? Now everyone's always ghosting each other at conferences and training sessions. I feel for the trainer, she sounds like she's stuck between being nice and losing her mind 
what's next? 
like, ouch dear abby is always bringing up some serious stuff 
. Maybe she could try like, sending out some fun group chats or games to play during breaks to keep people engaged? 
I feel so bad for the university trainer 
without a care. I wonder if there are some other ways for her to make the training more engaging so that everyone stays on track? Like, maybe a shorter break or something? 
. Has anyone ever tried having an open conversation with their trainees about why they're leaving? Maybe it's not just about coffee breaks, but also personal stuff that's going on outside the classroom 
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. It's like, someone has to hold them accountable, but also be understanding and empathetic.
, it's heartbreaking that she and her husband are stuck like this for so long. It sounds like they need some professional help to work through their issues, but at least Dear Abby is there to guide them 
. I think that's what makes her advice column so helpful for people who are feeling stuck or unsure about something