Navigating Social Situations Without Losing Yourself: An Unconventional Guide to Awkwardness.
For many of us, social gatherings like Thanksgiving come with a side of cringe-worthy moments – those fleeting feelings of discomfort that can leave us fumbling for words or fleeing the scene. But what if these awkward encounters weren't about you? According to philosopher Alexandra Plakias, awkwardness isn't a personal failing but rather a result of an unwritten script breaking down.
In a recent conversation, Plakias discussed how awkwardness arises when we don't have the social resources to navigate an interaction. We might not know which norms apply or what role we're playing in the situation. This, she argues, is an "us" problem rather than a personal one.
So, why do some people appear more awkward in certain situations? It's often not because they're inherently shy or socially inept, but because their social cues don't match those of others. They might struggle to read nonverbal signals or unintentionally create tension with an awkward comment. In other cases, the person on the receiving end may be just as uncomfortable, but can't articulate it.
When we fear creating awkwardness, we tend to shy away from important conversations or interactions that could lead to meaningful connections. By avoiding these moments, we miss opportunities for real connection and growth. Instead of trying to eliminate awkwardness altogether, Plakias suggests embracing uncertainty and practicing admitting it.
One key strategy is clarifying your priorities in advance. If you know certain topics are likely to be contentious, decide how you want to approach the conversation. This clarity can guide your response even when the conversation becomes uncomfortable.
Finally, exposure therapy can help you become more comfortable with feeling awkward without making it a defining characteristic of yourself. By acknowledging that these moments pass and don't define us, we begin to see them as opportunities for growth rather than personal failures.
In short, navigating social situations isn't about eradicating awkwardness but about learning to navigate the complexities of human interaction with empathy and self-awareness.
For many of us, social gatherings like Thanksgiving come with a side of cringe-worthy moments – those fleeting feelings of discomfort that can leave us fumbling for words or fleeing the scene. But what if these awkward encounters weren't about you? According to philosopher Alexandra Plakias, awkwardness isn't a personal failing but rather a result of an unwritten script breaking down.
In a recent conversation, Plakias discussed how awkwardness arises when we don't have the social resources to navigate an interaction. We might not know which norms apply or what role we're playing in the situation. This, she argues, is an "us" problem rather than a personal one.
So, why do some people appear more awkward in certain situations? It's often not because they're inherently shy or socially inept, but because their social cues don't match those of others. They might struggle to read nonverbal signals or unintentionally create tension with an awkward comment. In other cases, the person on the receiving end may be just as uncomfortable, but can't articulate it.
When we fear creating awkwardness, we tend to shy away from important conversations or interactions that could lead to meaningful connections. By avoiding these moments, we miss opportunities for real connection and growth. Instead of trying to eliminate awkwardness altogether, Plakias suggests embracing uncertainty and practicing admitting it.
One key strategy is clarifying your priorities in advance. If you know certain topics are likely to be contentious, decide how you want to approach the conversation. This clarity can guide your response even when the conversation becomes uncomfortable.
Finally, exposure therapy can help you become more comfortable with feeling awkward without making it a defining characteristic of yourself. By acknowledging that these moments pass and don't define us, we begin to see them as opportunities for growth rather than personal failures.
In short, navigating social situations isn't about eradicating awkwardness but about learning to navigate the complexities of human interaction with empathy and self-awareness.
I feel like this article is saying that awkward moments are actually a sign of something being off in our surroundings, not in us as individuals 
. It's all about adapting to different social norms and cues, you know? Like, we might be fine with hanging out with friends on the weekends, but then we're like "oh no, what if I say something wrong at work?" 
But honestly, it's not about avoiding those conversations altogether – it's about being willing to have them even when they get a little cringeworthy. 
And, let's be real, exposure therapy sounds like just what we need to become more comfortable with feeling awkward 
.
u mean, like alexandra plakias said, awkwardness isn't cuz ur shy or stuf, its cuz our social cues don't match up w/ others. idk, sounds kinda liberatin 2 me tho... maybe instead of tryin 2 avoid awkward moments altogether, we shd just learn 2 roll w/ it & see them as chances 2 grow 
I think Alexandra Plakias makes a pretty solid point about awkwardness being an "us" problem. I mean, have you ever been at that Thanksgiving dinner where everyone's trying to make small talk and it just feels like every conversation is going nowhere? That's not because anyone's inherently awkward or stupid 
. It's just that we're all trying to navigate this weird social script that can be super tricky.
. And honestly, exposure therapy makes total sense - the more we practice navigating those uncomfortable conversations, the less likely we are to be completely cringeworthy (sorry, I had to 
. It makes total sense that our discomfort in social situations can stem from uncertainty about norms and roles, rather than an inherent lack of social skills. Practicing self-awareness and clarifying priorities beforehand is a great strategy for navigating these complex interactions 
. By adopting this mindset, we can cultivate empathy and understanding towards ourselves and others in those cringe-worthy situations