Dear Abby: Grandson has distanced himself from family

A grandson has distanced himself from his family, leaving a trail of hurt feelings and unacknowledged gestures.

When Ethan's parents moved out of their mother's home four years ago, they made the decision not to share their new address with anyone. As a result, Ethan's grandparents have been left in the dark about his life, with only sporadic texts that hint at the distance growing between them. The situation came to a head when Ethan got married seven months prior, but he didn't invite either parent to join him on his special day.

In fact, Ethan told his grandmother that he was worried his parents would upstage him and detract from his own celebration. He reassured her that she would be invited to the wedding and would receive a nice picture taken by the photographer. However, when the big day came and went, Ethan's grandmother saw the photos on social media and realized she had been stood up.

Despite being told she wouldn't be invited to the wedding, Ethan's grandmother still sent him a check as a gift – money that he eventually cashed but didn't acknowledge in return. Now, with his birthday approaching, the question is: should she send him a card or let things slide?

Dear Abby advises against sending a card just for the sake of doing so, warning that it may only lead to another unacknowledged gesture from Ethan and his wife. The best approach might be to simply not send anything at all.

In related news, a woman is struggling with how to deal with casual conversations about a personal tragedy at her 25th class reunion. Five years ago, she lost her daughter in what she describes as "a series of family tragedies" that took up most of her time and energy.

The woman is torn between reconnecting with old friends and avoiding potentially awkward discussions about her loss. Dear Abby recommends being honest and direct when asked about the status of her daughter – stating the truth, such as that she passed away several years ago, rather than going through a scripted response.

Ultimately, both stories highlight the delicate balance between love and boundaries in family relationships.
 
Ethan's situation is quite poignant πŸ€”. It's almost as if he's created this emotional bubble around himself, making it difficult for his grandmother to know how to navigate their relationship. The fact that she still sent him a check after being stood up at the wedding shows her love and loyalty aren't entirely unwavering πŸ’Έ.

The woman's dilemma at her class reunion is also really relatable πŸ€—. It's natural to want to reconnect with old friends, but it can be tough when there are sensitive topics like personal tragedies involved. Perhaps a gentle approach, like Dear Abby suggests, could be the way forward? Not forcing awkward conversations but being open and honest about one's situation. After all, boundaries in family relationships can be tricky to balance, but that doesn't mean we should avoid them altogether πŸ™.
 
I'm telling ya, there's more to this family drama than meets the eye πŸ€”. I mean, Ethan's parents just up and moved away without saying goodbye? That's not a coincidence. There's gotta be some ulterior motive behind that decision. And now they're expecting everyone to just forget about them? Please. It's like they're trying to erase themselves from history.

And don't even get me started on the wedding thing. Ethan's parents feeling upstaged at their own son's special day? That's just a smokescreen for something deeper. I bet there's some secret family feud going on behind the scenes that we don't know about yet.

And then there's this woman struggling with what to say at her class reunion... it's like she's being asked to put on a mask and pretend everything is okay when it's not πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ. I get where she's coming from, but maybe instead of being all secretive and stuff, we should be having some real conversations about our losses and struggles. Maybe that's the only way to truly reconnect with each other.

I'm just saying, there's more going on here than we're seeing on the surface πŸ‘€.
 
OMG, Ethan's grandma is totally right to be salty 🀯! Like, who does that? Not inviting parents to their own kid's wedding? That's some major shade 🌳. And now she's trying to figure out if she should send a card or just ghost him? Girl, do what you feelin' πŸ˜‚. Maybe she should just get her own birthday party and invite the whole world πŸ‘―β€β™€οΈ!

And can we talk about this woman who lost her daughter? Five years is like, an eternity without your little one 🌫️. I'd want to connect with my old friends too, but I'd be all like, "Hey guys, I'm good, just gonna mourn in peace πŸ™." Being honest and direct is key, tho πŸ’―. Don't sugarcoat it or make up some scripted response that's gonna confuse people. Just be like, "Girl, I lost my baby, but I'm doing okay 😊."
 
You know what's up with Ethan's whole thing? He thinks he's all high and mighty now that he's married, but really he's just ghosting his grandma and it's so not cool πŸ˜’. I mean, she's trying to be supportive, but does he have to make her feel like she's some kind of obstacle to his happiness? And those wedding photos? Just rubbing it in, making her feel left out πŸ“Έ. As for the check thing... umm yeah, that's just awkward πŸ’Έ. I think his grandma should send him a card, but not because she wants to rub it in, more like to show she still cares, you know? And then maybe, just maybe, Ethan and his wife will get the hint and start being more considerate of their family members' feelings πŸ‘«. The other story about the woman at her reunion... same vibe, you know? It's all about finding that balance between reconnecting with old friends and dealing with sensitive topics πŸ’”.
 
It's fascinating how Ethan's situation has created a rift between him and his grandparents, with unacknowledged gestures becoming a recurring theme πŸ€”. While Dear Abby suggests not sending a card just for the sake of doing so, I think it's essential to acknowledge the emotional labor involved in navigating such situations.

Similarly, the woman struggling with conversations about her daughter's passing highlights the importance of being honest and direct when discussing sensitive topics. It's crucial to strike a balance between reconnecting with loved ones and maintaining one's own emotional well-being πŸ™. In both cases, it's clear that setting boundaries is essential for preserving one's mental health and avoiding further hurt feelings.

Ultimately, these stories serve as poignant reminders of the complexities involved in family relationships and the need for empathy, understanding, and effective communication πŸ’¬.
 
omg can you believe ethan's grandma is literally just over here getting ghosted by her own grandson 🀯 she's worried he won't send her a card for his bday but honestly idc if she sends one or not, like its not worth the risk of him ignoring it πŸ˜’ and that other lady struggling with talking about her daughter's passing? girl same fam. just be real and direct like dearabby said πŸ€—
 
Ugh I feel so bad for Ethan's grandma πŸ˜”... he basically threw her under the bus on his wedding day 🀝. I mean what's up with not inviting them to this super special day? And then she finds out through social media πŸ“±? Classy move, Ethan πŸ˜’.

And now they're having a big birthday and no one knows how to handle it... just let things slide, I think πŸ’β€β™€οΈ. Sending a card would just be awkward. But at the same time, you don't want to hurt her feelings even more πŸ€•.

It's funny because I've been in situations where I didn't talk to my family member for years and then they reach out after something huge happened... like they're all "oh no, we miss you!" πŸ™„. Um, thanks but no thanks πŸ˜’.
 
omg this is like soooo true 🀯 i've been there too, where my own family drama leaves me feeling all awkward and unsure how to react... idk if ethan's grandma should send him a card or not, but maybe she could just send a small gift instead? like, something that doesn't have to say "happy birthday" or anything... and yeah, i can see why dearabby would say don't do it for the sake of doing it, you know? sometimes less is more πŸ’β€β™€οΈ
 
Wow πŸ’₯ This is crazy! Family dynamics are so complicated 🀯 I feel bad for Ethan's grandma, like her gift meant a lot to him but he didn't have to be so harsh πŸ˜” And I can imagine how awkward it must be for the woman at her reunion, but being honest is probably the best way to deal with it πŸ’• Interesting
 
It's so sad what Ethan went through, but honestly, his grandma shouldn't send him a card just for the sake of it πŸ€”. Like, if she wants to reach out, she should just be real about it – no drama, no expectations. And I feel bad for her too, 'cause being stood up on that wedding day must've been super hurtful πŸ˜•. But at the same time, Ethan's grown man now and he made his choices, so it's not like his grandma has to enable him or anything πŸ™…β€β™‚οΈ.

And omg, I totally get why the woman at her reunion is struggling πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ – it's hard to talk about something that still hurts, especially if you're just starting to reconnect with old friends. She should just be honest and say what she means, like "I've been through a tough time, my daughter passed away..." That way, everyone can move forward and support her in their own way πŸ’•.
 
this situation is so cringeworthy πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ... i mean, ethan should really have an open convo with his grandma about why he didn't invite them to the wedding. it's not like he was trying to ditch them or anything, but at the same time, he's got his own life and needs some space too. and now he's just ghosting her on his birthday? no thanks 🚫. as for the other girl struggling with casual convo at her reunion... yeah, be honest, but also don't feel obligated to spill all the deets if you're not ready πŸ’β€β™€οΈ. boundaries are everything in these situations 😊
 
I feel for Ethan's grandma πŸ€—. I mean, can you blame her for feeling stood up? She invested so much emotional energy into that wedding, and to not be invited is just hurtful. But on the other hand, she's 60+ years old now... maybe it's time to let go of the need to be included in every aspect of Ethan's life.

As for Dear Abby's advice, I think it's reasonable. We've all been there where we feel like sending a card or gift just because, but honestly, it might come across as insincere. Maybe it's better to wait and see how Ethan responds (or doesn't respond) before deciding what to do next.

The woman who lost her daughter is another story altogether πŸ™. I'm so sorry she has to deal with that kind of grief still, five years later. It takes a lot of courage to be honest about our loss, even if it means potentially causing awkwardness at a class reunion. Maybe just being there for old friends and sharing some small talk can be enough?
 
I don’t usually comment but... I feel for Ethan's grandma on this one πŸ€—. It’s like, he knows she’s hurt and stuff, but still doesn't acknowledge her or even send a card back πŸ“¨. And now with his birthday coming up, it's like, what do you do? Not sending anything might be the best option, but it's also super passive-aggressive πŸ’β€β™€οΈ.

But you know, my sister had a similar situation with her ex when she got married 🀡. She didn't invite him to the wedding, and he was super salty about it πŸ˜’. Now that they're divorced, she doesn’t talk to him much either... guess what? It’s actually kind of liberating not having that toxic person in your life 😌.

I don’t know about Ethan's grandma sending a card or not πŸ€”. Maybe just send something small and generic like a gift card or flowers πŸ’? That way, she can still show her love and care without putting herself out there too much ❀️.
 
Ugh, grandkids these days... no idea how to handle basic adult relationships πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ. Poor grandma's been ghosted by her own son and now feels like she's getting the cold shoulder from his kid on his birthday πŸŽ‚? No card, no nothing? That's just rude. I mean, I get it, Ethan's all about keeping up appearances, but come on, be kind, even if he doesn't want to acknowledge you. And what's with not inviting parents to the wedding? Did they tell him to keep them out of sight? πŸ€”

And then there's this other woman struggling with what to say at her class reunion... I feel her pain, girl! πŸ€— It's hard enough dealing with personal loss, let alone having to sugarcoat it for the sake of small talk. Just be honest and direct, like Dear Abby says – no need for scripted responses or fake smiles. And if someone asks about your loss, just say "she passed away" and move on. Don't feel obligated to relive the drama πŸ’β€β™€οΈ.
 
πŸ€” I'm low-key pro Ethan's decision to keep his parents out of his wedding. I mean, can you blame him for not wanting his parents to upstage him? And honestly, his mom's response by checking his social media pics was kinda rude. πŸ“Έ It's like she knew he didn't want her there and still decided to rub it in her face.

As for the grandma thing, I'd say just let things slide. He's 30 now, grown with a family of his own... maybe it's time to redefine what that means for him? Not sending a card just because feels like an exercise in martyrdom. Let's be real, if she really cares about her grandkid, she'll figure out another way to show love without getting hurt again. πŸ’Έ
 
man thats some heavy stuff... ethan's situation is like so unfair to his grandma who prob didnt mean any harm just wanted to celebrate her grandson's special day with him... but i get why he felt uncomfortable about his parents being there. its like, your own family members can be super hurtful sometimes πŸ€•

and then theres this other lady struggling with how to talk about her loss at the reunion... that sounds really tough for her... its hard enough when we're close to people we know, but in a group setting it can feel like too much info πŸ’”

either way, these stories remind us that family relationships are all about boundaries and love - we gotta respect each other's feelings, even if it hurts sometimes πŸ€—
 
I'm thinking it's pretty harsh on Ethan's side, ya know? I mean, his grandma went out of her way to send him a check after he got married, that's not something you do for just anyone... but at the same time, she didn't exactly handle the whole wedding thing well herself πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ.

And then there's this woman who lost her daughter, dude... it's like, I get why she wants to reconnect with friends and all, but you can't expect people to know what happened just because you don't bring it up. It's not fair to them that they have to ask πŸ€”.

But honestly, both of these stories are making me think about my own family dynamics... like, how do we set boundaries without hurting each other? I mean, love is important and all, but so is respect for people's space... you feel me? πŸ’‘
 
I feel for Ethan's grandma πŸ€—... it's one thing to be left out of the loop, but another to be stood up at his own wedding and not even acknowledged afterwards. And on the other hand, I can understand why Ethan would be worried about being overshadowed by his parents.

But here's what I think: maybe Ethan's grandma should just send a card with a simple "Happy Birthday" and no extra fuss πŸŽ‰? That way, she acknowledges her love for him without stirring up drama or expectations. And if Ethan doesn't respond, well, that's not the end of the world.

It's funny how these family dynamics can get so complicated, right? πŸ’•
 
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